help me

it hurts.
it hurts..

the pain...was almost too much for me to bear...

i...need....help.....

speechless

i wish i can say everything that has been in my mind for the past few months, but i can't.

i have been keeping all of these to myself

it pains me for being ignored....

as if i am just a shadow...




well at least, now i can go wherever i want if i want to seclude myself for a while

perhaps this weekend will be a good time to do some soul searching?

maybe...maybe

i wonder what will happen if i suddenly went missing? nobody knows my whereabouts

looks fun. mind if i try?

Seek not beauty in battle.

 Seek not beauty in death.

 Consider not your own life. If you wish to protect that which must be protected, then strike while your opponent's back is turned

rhyme time.....

as the time passes by, my patience is running dry...

do it or die, you'll never know if you don't try!

life is full of secrets and lies, so if you get screwed over, don't act surprised....

this is the last for today, but i won't just stop here, no way...

i am not supposed to love you, and i am not supposed to care

i'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. 



i'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. 

but i'm sorry i can't help myself. i just simply fell in love with you

11 days to go...and counting...

time passes quickly without me realizing...

 oh yeah...tomorrow is the day...the day the Mayans predicted the end of the world..or to put it simply, doomsday.

but seriously, i don't believe that.

only He knows when that is really gonna happen

but i'm not gonna talk about that.

right now i am currently in a bad mood and stuck in one helluva situation.well, technically not one situation, but plenty

now let's get to that situation.

you see, in order for us UniMAP students to sit for our final exams, we must first verify our registered subject with our respective RPS, including me.

but somehow, a thing occurred ..therefore for this part, i'm gonna write it down in Malay...easier to express my emotion, ya'know..

macam ni ceritanya. ada satu subject ni, masa mula2 register sem ni aku amik.subject tu namanya thinking skills. waktu tu jadual lama baru kluar, so since aku tgk jadual 2 x dak benda yang clash, aku pun amik la subject tu. entah macam mana time start2 sem ni tetiba jadual dah berubah....and time subject thinking skill ni la pulak aku ada lab analog......nokharoom...awat jadi lagu ni pulak?

aku dok kata dah....tgk dulu macam mana.....mana tau kot2 nanti ada jadual baru kluaq...last2 haram x kluaq.

memang aku nk drop la....tapi nak jadi cerita, link ntuk aku buat  bab2 drop dgn register subject ni memang kerja nak jahanam..asyik error memanjang.banyak kali kot aku buat.....ada sekali dah nak sampai dah part ntuk drop subject tu.tiba2 error tu dtg balik......mmg fed up aku..last2 aku mintak tolong kat member rumah aku, halim dgn hakim suruh bagitau kat lecturer tu yang aku drop and mintak lecturer tu tolong dropkan untuk aku....

and i thought to myself "settle la.". and this is where things started to go wrong....

setelah beberapa lama aku try bukak link tu untuk drop subject 2..., akhirnya dapat jugak.aku pun p la dekat part ntuk drop subject....yes, buleh bukak. and then i noticed something...."mana butang drop subject ni?"...tengok2 tarikh. ya rabbi....dah tgh bulan 10, dah lebih deadline ntuk drop subject.. memang x leh nak buat apa2 la....

dan pagi tadi aku check slip subject....thinking skills tu still ada dalam list...ni yang buat aku semak ni...

aku buleh saja nak p exam thinking skills tu..tapi carry mark aku 0 la...attendance pun kosong...kalau carry mark dgn attendance bukan 0 aku p saja exam tu....pandai2 la aku nak goreng time exam...

so, nampak gayanya kena la tanya RPS aku dulu...maybe memang ada salah aku sebab x tanya RPS awal2...tapi server pun satu hal jugak....aku buleh bilang dgn jari kot berapa kali aku bleh bukak....

heh, that's one problem...

now for my personal problem.....you guys know that there is a girl that i am having a crush on? those who knew about this, better STFU. tell nobody about this...

got a fucking bad news about it..and that news sometimes puts me in misery

she...found herself a new boyfriend....

and definitely not me.no serious i am not joking..

heh, looks like my life is like a running gag.....has a crush on a girl,, girl already has a boyfriend, that unlucky fella know about this, ....you know what happens next........

despite that, i am still waiting, i don't know why, i just can't tell ...or rather, i don't have any answer for that....

is that thing called hope?

-i'll be waiting  for you, even  if my presence in your life only means a little to you, i'll still wait...-.

just an inane prattling

man...when was the last time i wrote something here..
must've been at least a month ago....definitely..
if this thing is a journal, damn thing might be covered in dust

almost two months had passed since the beginning of the new semester...
so far, 50 50... some parts are good, some are...well.....not so...

personal life is in a mess right now....
how should i say this......
have a problem with my 78-years old grandpa
he has Alzheimer....have to bear with his...attitudes.....


that's one thing...
another one..well...
should i mention about it?
should i?

all right...here goes nothing....
it's about my private life when it comes to girls i like....
so far, only some know about the girl whom i have a crush on.
(guys, please keep that a secret, or i'm gonna fuckin kill ya,muahahaha)

somehow, i feel like i am being cursed
this may be repetitive, i know, but i just have to say it all over again....
when will this..misery ever end.....

heard from a friend that she's currently admiring someone....guess this is it.....
gonna have to wait again....

"I'm afraid to love you cause you might not love me in return. I'm afraid to love you because of fear that I might be hurt before it's through, i'm afraid to love you because i might lose you the same way i lost the one i loved before you, but most of all, i'm afraid to love you cause i think i already do"

1st post to have f words, i guess?

20-9-2012
6.42 p.m.
LOCATION: KKC7,
ROOM NUMBER: CONFIDENTIAL

two weeks has passed since the new semester has started.
just have these 2 words to say...

MIND BLOWN!!!!!

and this fuckin' shit happens because of one fuckin thing,(drum roll please)
the fuckin timetable.

you might think that i am just exaggerating things but it so damn true!

the first timetable that was released was perfect, no clash, plenty of breathing space,perfect in every aspect.
but all hell broke loose when the second timetable was uploaded two days before the new semester began...

but there's nothing that can be done......have to endure it for the rest of the semester........